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How to Love Yourself

Feb 1, 2021

How you speak to yourself matters. The health of your mind is directly related to the words you feed it. The way you approach your thoughts can have a significant impact on your mood and decision-making. Negative self-talk may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and to reach your potential.

We All Struggle with the Concept of Self-Love

Despite our best efforts, we don’t always love ourselves. Sometimes we make mistakes and do the wrong thing. The key to self-love is to love yourself regardless of your mistakes. Self-love goes beyond superficiality and appreciating yourself only when you have accomplished something.

What is Self-Love Exactly?

Self-love is loving yourself amid difficulty and knowing you can do better next time. Self-love is when you accept yourself as you are right now by being entirely at ease in your skin. Having confidence in your strengths and feeling pride in your identity and loving your flaws.

How to Reframe Your Negative Thoughts

Make sure you pay attention when you begin to talk negatively about yourself. Would you speak to your 12-year-old self the same way you talk to yourself now? If the answer is no, you need to make changes in the way you dialogue with yourself. Respect yourself and be aware of the importance of your thoughts. Start taking control of them.

Here are some examples of how to speak to yourself more positively:

“I’m a hot mess.”

Humans aren’t perfect, so you shouldn’t expect perfection from yourself. Try telling yourself you are doing the best you can instead of thinking that you are a mess. You are entitled to make mistakes, and no one is perfect.

“I’m such a failure.”

It does not mean you are a failure if you are struggling with something. Identify one positive aspect of your situation. Try to say to yourself that you are learning rather than that you are failing. Ask yourself what you’re learning, and tell yourself you are doing your best.

“Why does this always happen to me?”

Try not to play the victim. There are challenging times for everyone. Identify the lesson that the problematic event is teaching you. There is always something to learn from a situation.

There’s no way I can do this.”

You can do it. Remind yourself that you have done difficult things in the past. You can get through this, too.

Remember that becoming aware of old patterns of negativity and learning to love yourself is something you will have to work at daily. Be patient and kind to yourself.


Hannah’s House is a well-known care provider offering a range of treatment programs targeting the recovery from substance use, mental health issues, and beyond. Our mission is to provide a clear path to a life of healing and restoration. We offer renowned clinical care for addiction and have the compassion and professional expertise to guide you toward lasting sobriety. For information on our programs, call us today: 866-952-5532.

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