Guide to Sober Dating

Apr 12, 2021

Love can happen at any time, even in the midst of a recovery journey. Falling for someone or finding someone attractive doesn’t always happen at the most convenient times, of course. So, it’s important to prepare for these types of romantic relationships while devoted to your personal healing as well. Today, let’s talk about how to effectively balance a sober life and an emerging love life and share some dating tips for addicts.

How do I date and stay sober is a common question for single people to ask at the start of recovery. Every relationship during recovery should be a healthy one, and a new acquaintance or romantic partner is no different. Finding the right partner can start with sober dating sites. If a new relationship shows signs of following old behavior patterns, including codependency, it’s helpful to seek an outside perspective from a sponsor, mentor, or therapist.

Dating  in Recovery

Can people in recovery be in a relationship? Having healthy relationships is important during recovery from substance use. Dating in recovery is possible when it involves choosing a person who is in a place themselves to have a healthy, balanced relationship. As you’re creating new patterns of behavior for yourself, you want to make choices in dating that support that work.

How soon after treatment can I start dating is a question each woman will have to ask herself. It’s important to remember that balance is important when dating at any time. Too much focus on a new partner can take away the important time for you to work on yourself and what you need. In the early stages of recovery, you may not immediately know what’s healthy or not. This is where having outside help from a sponsor, a therapist, or a mentor can give you an objective point-of-view to consider.

Recognizing the Signs of Codependency

Many people in recovery have experienced codependent relationships in the past. If it’s been a pattern of behavior before now, you want to look for signs that dating now is leading to the same thing. Signs of codependency can include an unhealthy balance in the relationship, a partner who manipulates the other, and a partner who is overly focused on pleasing the other.

For long-term relationships, breaking a codependency can be a long, demanding process. For someone dating in recovery, working on restoring balance to a new relationship takes your focus off the goal of staying sober. When you see the signs of trouble with a new partner, it’s okay to turn to a sponsor or mentor for guidance on how to end the relationship in a healthy, mature way.

Finding the Right Partner

Finding sober people to date might start with sober dating sites. They do exist if you’ve never been on one. People using them have a variety of reasons for abstaining from alcohol. They can be a helpful resource in finding a partner who understands your recovery goals and who’s ready to be supportive from the beginning.

Choosing someone simply for their sobriety is not how to find love while in recovery. The right partner will be aligned with you in many other ways, too. You may connect with someone special through a shared interest, such as biking, hiking, or photography. It’s important to remember, however the connection is made, to take the time to get to know this new person and see if they truly fit into the new life you’re creating to stay sober. 

Being Honest about Your Recovery Journey

For some people dating in recovery, hiding their past becomes a choice. They may not want to be seen as someone who’s struggled with substance use or spent time in treatment. They may think it affects their chances of finding a romantic partner.

The truth is, being straightforward with a new partner about your past is beneficial. You can choose when it feels right to share these things. It doesn’t have to be on a first or second date. Sharing will help the other person better understand you and your goals. It will also invite them to be authentic about what they’re working on, whether it’s sobriety or some other personal goal.

How do I date and stay sober?

Meeting for a drink is out, but there are endless possibilities for getting acquainted with someone new. You could choose a setting that allows you to talk over coffee or a meal. Dinner and movie are another sober date option. A walk-and-talk at a food festival gives you a chance to sample new foods and breaks up the need to carry on a longer conversation.

Taking the focus off you and putting it on an activity puts many people at ease on early dates. It’s also a terrific way to see how this new person responds to situations in different environments. These activities can include bowling, visiting an amusement park, going miniature golfing, ice skating or rollerblading, or attending a cooking class.

Hannah’s House has more information.

Hannah’s House is a resource for women in many phases of recovery. We treat patients who have been unable to stay sober in other programs. Our team can recognize factors that have made it more challenging for a patient to avoid relapse, including depression, anxiety, and unresolved trauma.

We understand how women see themselves will affect their ability to date and create healthy new relationships. Our programs designed for women cover every aspect of well-being that’s necessary for them to live well-rounded and productive lives, including dating in recovery. We welcome questions about how the compassionate care we provide can best help you, wherever you are in your recovery journey.


Hannah’s House is a well-known care provider offering a range of treatment programs targeting the recovery from substance use, mental health issues, and beyond. Our mission is to provide a clear path to a life of healing and restoration. We offer renowned clinical care for addiction and have the compassion and professional expertise to guide you toward lasting sobriety. For information on our programs, call us today: 561.841.1272.

You May Also Like…

How to Talk About Anxiety

How to Talk About Anxiety

It can be uncomfortable to talk about anxiety with others. Because anxiety is so personal, discussing it with others...

Is MDMA Dangerous?

Is MDMA Dangerous?

You've probably heard MDMA more often with a mention of one of its other names: ecstasy or "Molly." While this...

What Is Ketamine?

What Is Ketamine?

There’s no shortage of dangerous party drugs circulating in America, and Ketamine is one more substance that’s risen...